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About Literature / Hobbyist Black DragonFemale/United States Groups :icondoodlepage311: Doodlepage311
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Deviant for 12 Years
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Rambling's of a Mad Woman
As everything begins to unfold. There is a count of memories exploding just before sleep is suppose to take over. A countless recalculation surfaces. Impending doom over hangs near the center. We've been down this road once before. Leading no where. On long lonely stretches of highway. Tortured underneath this skin. A brisk notion that the soul is being tugged in one direction. I hear his voice. Though these words make no sense. The air feels weighted. I feel like I've should have been asleep. The only thing I've been able to muster up is a scream. What is the sound coming from my mouth? Why is everyone staring at me so blindly? Am I lost? Has both heaven and hell forsaken me all together? Days seem to drag on. Why is this insanity of a curse so inviting. Where has sleep gone? Is this a dream? Surely this must be a dream. How can one fall so far?
Silence hits the room. The spinning shifted. Words are lost, tears are falling now. Where have I been?
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 2 6
Under the stretch of this highway.
Radical curves,
Holding weights of silence, grief,
              and darkness.
Counted by measure,
       they can't see the value.
Tortured inside.
Walk softly here.
Can't return,
Nor be replaced.
A mark,
As explosions hit.
          Igniting the soul.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 4
Madness :iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 6 Under due cause :iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 1
Under This Surface
Under the surface
Through the cracks.
Where lights just aren't so bright.
A soul lays in shatters.
Everything vibrates unevenly.
There is no outlet.
Just piles of memories.
Fighting, fighting to find some comfort.
Demons, demons surface.
Under this surface.
Breathing is difficult.
Under this surface I have
to face myself.
Cracks of these lines,
bleed down to the core.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 9
Pain :iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 8
Following the start back into the bend.
Where comforts of being lost
Held a stronger grip within the darkness.
Years of searching, years of wasting tears,
Devastating blows landed down.
Following the years back,
Following back through memories of mirrored glass.
Nothing remains the same, yet nothing has changed within.
Under this capsized wreckage.
Drowning out the darkness.
Following past the bend.
Silence over took the soul.
Words that have been lost for oh so long.
Afraid of the reach, afraid of the spreading
Light burning so brightly inside.
Here is the uprise.
Here is the passing.
Passing of the following,
Of a new chapter slowly
on the verge of it's maiden voyage.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 3
It's the beginning pieces of finding.
Where our broken ashes have left us.
Unknowingly searching in a space,
Left so hollow,
Left so alone.
Traces of the memories surface,
Where music and souls collide.
Drifting off here and there.
Just through these space.
Unbalanced to the accords,
lifting the shattered remains.
Timing becomes eccentric.
Through a crack,
Through a space of hope.
Where the light untouched
Remains burning.
Jumbled thoughts, shifting to quickly.
Like a weight of air being pressed.
Pressed so tightly inside.
Captivating little mess inside.
Inside these spaces.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 3 3
Under Pressure
Under lining in spaces, to small to be.
Uneven in this part, shifting hopelessly to edge.
Shattered down to every ridged point.
Under this point, this spinning view.
Fighting, these words are screams.
Harboring around alone.
Silenced in the view, tears swelling.
Cunning, ruthless little mess.
Unspoken for so long, laying in waste to long.
Gifted disaster of hope.
Fighting every chance, running through every second.
Dropped out of the reality.
Hung out when all is gone.
Around and round the wheels begin to spin.
Churning slowly, crackling as the dust gives way.
Restless inside, spinning at the words, at the sounds circling around.
These are the courses, the given where everything,
If fighting for life.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 9
Entry Wound
It's the entry wound,
The start of where everything spiraled out.
Under the crux of the weight,
Shifting through the movements.
Calculation of the pieces, time unwinding.
Dining in the darkest of places.
Under the despair, the blind of
Process of the breakdown,
The scars burning a little brighter with each moment.
               It's this entry wound.
               Despairing unwillingly through this time.
               Can't break the grip.
               Surfacing under the flip side.
               A piece to fitting, a piece to hopeful.
Under score of the rounds.
Under the tone of such words.
Just the moments, where letting go,
Sucks the weight from our lungs.
Mere forms of the process.
Just the traveling part, these little
Journeys are becoming the life.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 5
It's This Piece
It's this piece you see,
The one that is locked away.
Fighting so feverishly to strike out.
Changing became the settling score.
Holding back, learning to breath,
Without settling into the downward spiral.
Tragically unbalanced, where moments,
Drift by endlessly.
Stopping short of a collision course.
Weighed down by the every shifting
Pulse of gravity.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 6
Through The Pen
The pen lands in between these blue lines.
The words are just sitting there,
   At the edge of our tongues.
   Movement is slowed.
Caution signs flare to life.
Back and forth I go.
Start to erase.
Another more pass, this one
Just make the cut.
Under the darkening sadness.
Escaping into the blurred stained ink tears.
   Movement is slowed,
   Caution signs flare back to life.
The heart restarts.
Pushing the poison through.
Passion to the core,
   Emotions choking under the weight
   Of this ballpoint pen.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 2 2
It's the beginning of the turn,
The silence filling into the rooms.
Like the course was known to the point
Of such a turn.
Everything is for a reason.
They are the repeated words,
           Repeated words that people give.
Under the do course, filtering onto the end.
Beyond the notion,
Where separation sinks in.
This madness kicks in,
            Holding the crippling pieces apart.
Undertow pushes the parts away.
Hidden words are surfacing.
Just a moment ago, everything becomes,
Down to the current of spiral waves.
The sun giving into it's last breath for the day.
Repeated on the day in,
           And on the day out.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 3
Pressures Of The Struggle
Reaching down this is the fight,
The struggle willing to tear apart the pieces.
Uninvited little mess of harboring darkness.
Controlling under the pressure, beating the inner strength
           Down to the cores where the heart and soul collide.
Edging out towards the cliffs edge.
Mastering the fate of disguise.
Following under the complications,
Making due to pass this time.
Energies surge, just another little piece here and there.
          This is the mark, I know where the lines have been.
Cursing, cursing the skin for the toughening moment.
Broken as the disasters make their turn.
Coming at the wounds, they know the strikes.
Watching the inner changes of the sky.
Alone to the thoughts, the nightmares strike without
           Any sign of a warning.
Heading for a collision course of death.
Final pieces in the making,
Such a beginning,
Such an end.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 3
It's This Process
It's the process of believing, the process
Of challenging of accepting yourself.
Whole and completely.
As the broken stages begin to shift around.
It's the belief of the notion, that we are
In our own rights, this amazing person.
The stages of knowing, traveling along this journey.
Faltering along the pathway, unable to grasp the notion
Of this greatest gift.
It's the process of finally letting go the hurt.
It's just this process.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 3 6
A Process of Healing
It's the voice that begins whispering.
The silent tears that fall in remembrance.
The piece that begins to heal,
Once the letting go, begins.
The lost hope, where the uncertainty
Constricts everything on our insides.
The pressure of madness, circling around.
Glowing embers of moments that are never,
Going to come back.
Pieces of a wound that fall into place.
Where the parts of the world fade.
And the pieces begin to heal.
:iconaireansa:Aireansa 1 0

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The fifty miles between us did not seem as long as the time
it takes to get back, it is disguised
as a milk float, I think,
going seven miles an hour down the street
at nine AM, while people beep cranky horns
from behind, with a red frown
over worn, and filth spraying
from the mouth
like the backwards hoover
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Why make me wait, just to say goodbye?
Ten different ways I could end this night
Don't want this anymore, can't do this anymore
What keeps me here, hanging on this night?
How did I let them win?
Fuel me for my deadly sin
What makes me wait just to say goodbye?
Ten different ways to enjoy this knife
Won't see you anymore, lost feelings from before
Tear up my heart I cry deep inside
To end this night
Leave it all behind, I will
As I'm falling faster
Feeling fades, my bloodstained blade
Is my only master
I must burn to help me learn
Indulge my steel desire
Show them my crimson tears
I fall away, watch the bloody sky
Ten different ways I won't miss this night
The lies that you told, reason that I grow cold
The pain I feel will be gone this night
Through my knife
Leave it all behind, I will
As I'm falling faster
Feeling fades, my bloodstained blade
Is my only master
I must burn to help me learn
Indulge my steel desire
Show them my crimson tears
I'm gone...
:iconmygodsaredarkness:mygodsaredarkness 2 3
forever and a day
They say that you're a dreamer
because you lose track of time
and you want the world empty from the outside in...
you know,
one day I hope you can save yourself
from fading into memories.
    I can sense your lungs getting tired
    from all the internal sounds,
    every micro second counts
    and you search frantically for the words
    that can save you.
I'll be there, sat on your doorstep
waiting for you
and the day you finally find the answers
to the questions you can never ask,
I'll take you in my arms
and we'll dance in the light of the moon
for forever and a day.
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Sometimes I am not sure who I hate more. Myself or my mind.
  • Listening to: Whiskey Bent and Hellbound


Aireansa's Profile Picture
Black Dragon
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: Somewhere speical.
Favourite genre of music: Anything that sounds good
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MP3 player of choice: My mp3 player ^^
Wallpaper of choice: Pictures of family
Favourite cartoon character: Roadrunner and Bugs Bunny
Personal Quote: Without angst there is no art.


Add a Comment:
longslowclimb Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015
thank you
Aireansa Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You are always most welcome.
Dudet19 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the favorite :)
Aireansa Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Dudet19 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the favorite
Aireansa Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You are most welcome.
Dudet19 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much for the favorite :)
Aireansa Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Most welcome
Dudet19 Featured By Owner Edited Feb 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the favorites :) :happybounce:
Aireansa Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Most welcome. :)
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